2015/12/31

POEMS : 2015




2015-01-27

A Thousand Winters Cold (for NYC)

I've reached the endless water
I've reached starvation's peak
Past the point of hunger
Where every crevice speaks
The cracks in hollow mercy
Breaking in the sun
Blue as holy rivers
Beside them we both run


(To the sea the elk still run)

I've reached the hidden wonder
My eyes just gave away
You can see so many colors
That your vision falls away
But then you look inside to
what your heart could be
You look so far and wide
Until you can hardly see
As blindness becomes mercy
You fumble thru the dark
As sounds all fade away
The dogs begin to bark

Barking in your memory
The sidewalks bend and plead
Your mother on her knees
Your father they will bleed
Your brother lost in shadows
Afraid of everyone
But this is like a dream
You are broken by the sun
Broken in the sun again
The misery takes hold
Hiding in the spiders cheek
A thousand winters cold

You toil for a love to keep
Or any silver voice
To say your name at daybreak 
Or give your bones a choice 
Walking breaking drums or run
The muscle veins and skin
Wrap around the wedding gun
The cosmos coming in
Space and time the universe
Blue and green and red
Infinite infinities 
filling every persons head
Life is coming back and forth
Restless in the grave
I could give you what you need
But me you have to save. 
For my light goes off and on
And on and off some more
Salvation is bad poetry
But salvation is my whore
For she is there for everyone
Everyone is free 
beyond the way they cage themselves
In unreality 
And what I say to you
Might as well be told
Hiding in the spiders cheek
A thousand winters cold.


---


2015-02-04


I used to be a fig

Or

Fruit of the loom


If I said
The apple bled
Or the orange went weeping without skin
Into the sewer 
He got kicked!
If I said
The grapes were a gang
Of killers on the look out for loose change
And widows. 
Or if I said
The kiwi
Was an outcast,
Belonging to nothing or no one,
But his own shadow
Dancing for time,
Who is thoughtless and careless,
Like all that's sublime. 
If I said
The grapefruit is a bully holding a knife to the throat of the moon
Saying
"Where is the girl Chico?"
(The grapefruit calls the moon Chico
They are on a first name basis
That is an aside.)
If I said
The watermelon has given up. 
The fruit flies have taken over. 
The tangerines just spread their legs for money
And are only interested 
In nuts with power,
Like cashews or walnuts. 
All the almonds are to fend for themselves. 
The suicide rate amongst almonds is on the rise. 
The raw ones are ok,
But many are addicted to getting smoked,
And after that they lose their essence,
They go wandering
The streets
Begging for salt. 
A shell of their former selves,
Which is ironic since they lost their shell
In a past lifetime. 
(Do almonds have shells? I honestly don't know, or do they grow on trees and rain in the spring as the hummingbirds sing. Do hummingbirds sing? Or just whine with wings buzzing thru storms
And in the brainwaves of kings)

If I said the pear is the preacher
Or the leader of the pack,
The one they call Sydney 
The one who's got your back. 
He's the archeologist
And the grave digger,
He's got a big belly full of hope. 
I bit into it once
He bled to death around my mouth. 
Sat there stripped on the table turning brown. 
I felt bad til
I found out he was a clone. 
There a thousands of Sydney's all over town
Digging graves,
Making tools,
Listening to confessions,
And marrying too.

This loom of fruits,
And me just a fruit of the loom. 
A fig or raisin?
Can't decide
What I want to be
Or what I am. 
I've heard figs are the enlightened ones
And raisins are forgotten. 
And never mind about the mangoes
They are the killers
And the superstars
We don't talk about them around here anymore 
They're all bananas.


---


2015-02-05


Crying rooms

We all have them
Often in a shoe
Usually the left one
Sometimes the right
But to keep them there
We have to hop. 
On the ocean we balance houses
And tread water from the floorboards. 
Termites of chance,
Being dawned on by alien invaders we cannot perceive. 
And in these crying rooms,
The ghosts of our hysteria,
Reach their apex and dissolve the way
All memories do,
Back into our blood
Where rivers form
And flow into nothingness.


Most crying rooms
Are carried behind the eyes
Flicking back and forth.

Where are the doors
On which others can knock?
Or we can escape?
These windowless rooms
Without proper air
Or light. 
The inescapable echo,
Our tears
In the night.


---


2015-02-10 (1)


The Cartoonist

Reckless rain and disco beats
Your hands were made for holding
When in doubt the moon competes
For emptiness or scolding
I make cartoons
I outline stars
I make them into eyes,
I color fields
With blood or mist
The dogs apologize. 
I give them teeth and harpoon meat
I chase them in the grave
And looking back
They ball and snap their
Noses thru the cage.


Who could cage a girl like you
Or who could set you free?
I drew you feet for walking
I drew you lips to flee,
But you just keep on kissing
The spider or the wind
The monkey or the leper
For the chance to start again,
I drew you one strange heart
But you gave it to the priest
Smoking crack in shadows
Always hungry in the feast.
I drew you countless dreams
But you forgot them in the dawn
The light was much to cruel for you
In the dark where you belong. 
I gave you my night vision
But you just used it up to haunt
The widows of the world
Who are damned to take and want. 
I drew you ears to hear
The silence in the sound
And the singing of the ghost
To whom we're always bound
Guiding us in rapture
Guiding us thru need
Healing ancient wounds
The ones that always bleed
And then I drew your eyes
Each one a tiny star
Way up in the cosmos
In death still shining far
The left eye sees the ruin
The right eye just sees grace
I drew a dream of beauty
And made that dream your face. 
I am a cartoonist
Fading to a song
A melody that's lifted
From a beat that's moving on. 
But still I needed color 
And for color I did bleed
The sky for rain and wonder
And the earth for dirt and seed.


---


2015-02-10 (2)


Kanye

Artistry is subjective,
Depending on,
your own perspective. 
Drum machines 
and production teams
Versus,
Acoustic rides
And single strides.


Both are art
So let's restart.

What the heck!
Don't pick on Beck!
That little dude
Has helped our mood
And made his art 
both big and smart
(And likes you to
Even tho you're rude.)

Of course I like 
Beyoncé too,
She can sing
for me and you,
And she can dance,
and she can move,
And doesn't need 
your point to prove. 
So don't get mad 
when nothing's left,
Don a leotard, 
WWF!
WTF 
why the spite?
We're all dreamers
In one long night. 
We make our songs
And put them forth,
Like our children,
Like your North 
So don't get violent
On mine or his
Or create battles
Where none exist
You're a genius
So be gentle man,
And become
A gentleman. 
Pick your battles
The demons real
The oppressors
Who never feel
They look normal,
don't look like shrek
But still don't take it
Out on Beck!
Or on Picasso
Or on Matisse 
Or other artists
Protect the freaks!
We're together
Against the man,
Against the grain,
And in the sand. 
The landscapes bleak
It's a desert world,
So don't descend
Upon of the pearls,
Being thrown 
before the swine,
Have you lost
All of your mind?

And what the heck
Don't pick on Beck!

There's only dreams
And nothing more,
Artistry,
A revolving door,
All who knock
Can come inside,
And reveal
The way they hide. 
Might be with 
a drum machine,
A dancing beat,
A euphoric scream. 
Might be with
Nylon guitars,
Weaving out
Of falling stars. 
Both we need,
Both are true,
There is no better,
Just me and you. 
Art is not a relay race,
Or about who has
A pretty face. 
Art connects 
a man to God,
Broken open 
spirit bod. 
It's not of football
Or a boxing match,
Root for no one,
Enjoy the catch. 
It's probably all 
some PR move,
But you don't have 
Much else to prove. 
You've rocked the world 
And won respect
So what the heck!
Don't pick on Beck.


---


2015-07-14


There's a heart on Pluto
Thru a plane of glass
The alien abduction
Flying business class
Holding in emotion
The widow marching on
The heart we left on Pluto
Was never really gone
Beating in space stations
The dreams are stars which bleed
Forgetting fear and shadows
And the missing things we need
There's a heart on Pluto
A lunatic for sure
Is living there alone
A thousand years to cure
A heart outlined by stones and rocks
Floating deep in space
Black holes coming at us all
And burning thru the face
When you're walking slow at night 
And forgetting how to run
And you look to see if Pluto
Can see what you've become
You send up one more dream
Helium heart balloon
Black hole in your chest
An astronaut consumed but 
You're the one gone missing and
You're the one betrayed
By time and space and bliss
And the light that leaves the grave
Broken space salvation
A planet on the run
Pluto just a lunatic
With a heart that can't be won.


---


2015-09-04 (1)


You're like candy for my mind
The stop gaps that I jump to
When the hero has gone blind
Sabar tooth euphoria
Biting thru your bind
Your wing nut on a prayer
Soaking here in turpentine 
How could I control you
Said he to those that grind
Coffee for the dead
Speeding up when they rewind
Dripping into hollow faces
Traces of us find
Ourselves in all these nightmares
That we manage to unwind


There is another day for us
Said he with dirt and grace
As a giant furry spider
Crawled slow across his face
A shotgun then blew mercy
His brains across the wall
As a potted plant fell from the hands
Of a maid from down the hall

Igloos are high rises for ants with bones of steel
This is how they shatter us
In times when we can't feel
Broken up and betrayed
By voices in your head
I've sheltered you all long enough
I say
Unto the dead.


---


2015-09-04 (2)


She ran away with circus legends
Ice cream cone burlesque 
Holding onto secrets
She is tortured to confess
Toe nails painted blue
She waits backstage to dance
Looking in the lighted mirror
At a child she does glance


Who are you to speak to me
Who are you to hold
This darkness in me I believe
Gives fire in the cold

Smoking her last cigarette
The cold wind taking hold
She shivers in her mini dress
Stacks of numbers to unfold.

She's a purple peacock
Purple rhinestones purple rain
Dancing to that prince song
To the beat of joy and pain
The money raining on her
She swings around the pole
The lights of flesh and metal
Hitting pieces of her soul

She ran away with circus legends
They told her where to go
As at that time her lost eyes
We're painted up with snow
Sniffing lines in bathroom stalls
As beats blew thru the walls
Her shadow there beside her
Whispering everybody falls
She ran away with circus legends 
They gave her much advice
They told her she must never
Do the same thing twice
And if you're ever caught
On the wrong side of the law
Hold out for the hand grenade 
But try not to kill them all.


---


2015-09-05


All around the neighborhood 
Bricks and painted signs
And doorways going nowhere
But to alleys of the blind
Syringe stick legs are moving out
With yuppies moving in
Starbucks used to be rock clubs
Where we lost ourselves 
Back when


All around the neighborhood 
Helicopter spies
Cops in insect raincoats 
Biting bats inside their eyes
Billy clubbing vagabonds
Spitting up their blood and teeth
Everyone is guilty here
Everyone's a thief

All around the neighborhood 
She spit in winds of flame
Inside her a hive of bees
Trading honey for the shame
One eyes jacks
And goose step hacks 
The fallen have arrived
It's only will and a touch of grace
keeps anyone alive.


---


2015-09-07


There's a leg hanging on the wall
A shattered lense thru which we call 
Hic hup lollipop I don't care
The bartender here has blind eyes to spare
Juggling poker chips
And under a noose
The fake hands are waving 
The burning caboose
The smashing engine
A train in flames 
Dead in tracks 
And forgotten names
Surrendering sun
Skeletal crane
The cancer fogs
This useless brain
I want God or nothing at all
A love that's real 
Or fire to fall.


---


2015-09-12


Evil sky
Broken head
The spirit world
Confetti dead
Paper trails
Gods a joke
His pencil drawings
Up in smoke
Aliens
Both me and you
The frozen ones
We never knew
Grey and black
And blue dust moons
we disappear
Into harvest dunes.


No ones here
Or someone is
Perceptions walls
Aren't mine
They're his
He decides
Where I should be
This evil sky
In front of me
Voices moaning
Inside too
The darker dreams
Are coming true
Rothko's Moon 
The laughing wrist
Confessing loon
I've become this.


---


2015-09-13


I keep having a good time until
You remind me that I shouldn't be
The sirens of your hate blooming forward
Like blood from a battle tree
Maybe I could catch you then
Hitchhiking some strange road
Where the weapons of misfortune are sold to the hooligans who load
Tiny dreams and spiders
For carnivals in minds
Which open up new worlds
With drops of turpentine 
Hooligans on fire
Guns and rodents blaze
The names chase fallen angels
Thru the spiders of the haze
The warlords confiscating
The cops in murder black
Chopping first their vision
As they shoot us in the back
Here's to Loch Ness monsters 
Survivors in the sun
The Buddhas now at Princeton
Reading 'how to Babylon'
The monkey of the widow 
I'm here and sown up tight
To the disappointing rainbow
Of a revolution night.


---


2015-09-15


Winds of love blow thru trees of mercy
The sunshine sets me free
I go scattering into far off voids
Free of all the things I need 
No more body
No more bones
No more skin or teeth
Just a voice
She calls me home and
I enter with relief.


---


2015-11-01


Lou Reed was no monster
No imposter either
What he was 
Was open
Like pale blue eyes
Like 
Stephanie says
He was the last great American whale
Don't throw your lead harpoon in his skull
As it watches over 
The world he left behind
So much better than how he found it
You may call him a monster
And I guess he was
For those that live lives of oppression and mediocrity 
He was a monster to the normalcy that drones us all into stupefied boredom
But as a man
He was as sweet and and generous as any friend I ever had. 
But he was also pretty fucking famous
And he didn't let that cage him in
He walked around NYC
He was available to all
And if sometimes he had to be what some might call rude
It was only to protect his ability to be as free as the rest of us. 
Fuck you Howard
You're a fucking monster
Lou was a goddamn saint.


---


2015-11-14


I am a hallucination 
Of a warped perspective 
twisted in madness
And a superficial syringe 
Shooting into the veins of Christ
A hallowed sacrificial goat
Flows from me 
As dose the blue jay on a warm mountain sun
As does a snake 
Looking into swallow rats in the dark
As does the minnows 
And the magic of tricksters in Vegas
Singing to the almighty disguised as Elvis
On cocaine and hookers
Bring back Bartholomew 
Bring back Coltrane's dirty notes
Trying without succeeding to tame his unhinged music
By remaining faithful to his godfather The Duke. 
And put your dukes up
From me the boxer
Fights blank warlords in blue desserts
Whispering of the mighty trains 
Whose inventors died beneath the tracks. 
Their bodies
Tattered and torn in the sinews of metal
The pigs of industry
Whiffing their big husks about
As they storm cities
Giant as Godzilla size
Eating the assholes out of all of us. The grime of the city only protects us for so long
Before it takes us in and makes us its slave. We our monitored here
Our lives which were once impossible
Are even more so now.
We are headed into a planet on fire with storms so powerful 
That even Coltrane's mind
Is a placid place for meditation by comparison. 
We are a doomed species. 
And we have undone ourselves.
We have let our passed sins 
Become greater still
And greater still again
Until now
Even the best of us in our heart of hearts 
Knowing what we know about humanity
Have little hope that this world full of loons and vampires 
Has any real chance 
Of putting the flame of this ignorance which is burning us alive
Anywhere close to out.


But bankrupt though we are
Doomed as we maybe always have been. 
This night driving down the cool highway listening to Coltrane with the window in the Cadillac rolled halfway down
Smoking a spliff in the wind of a double tequila 
Heading to New Hampshire
There is actually nothing at all wrong with anything. Everything is also as perfect as it could possibly be. 
Who can't after all get behind 
Living this kind of gamble
Between life and death all the time. 
Holding onto the blue prints of Saigon
And the window map of a heart surgeons ambition 
Across the chest of a rodent. 
Break our backs or let us fly
This life is anything but fair. 
We all stand around 
Like hallowed out tombs for mercy
And yet we laugh and smile and fuck and get drunk
And do all the good things 
That celebrate our doom here
On this most beautiful of places.

Listen to Nina Simone sing
Ooh child things are gonna get easier
Ooh child things'll get brighter

And it's all you need. 
Sometimes. It's all you need.


---


2015-11-07 (1)


Life teaches you how 
If you can live long enough. 
People like us.
have the magic to bluff. 
That gift that came
we were born to lose
Holding us here. 
With illusions to choose. 
I miss you here
On addiction's bleak row
The Devils red wind
Filled with skulls, shame and snow
People like us
Make a fool of this life
The gifts we have
Come with twisting the knife


(Are black magic too)

They swell and inspire
And make days seem new
But when the night comes to hide us
They drink, smoke and screw 
The madness of breathing
Begins soon to choke
The windowless rooms
Are the places we're broke. 
Found out by no one
But the witness inside
A lost voice of wisdom
Echoing low and wide 
The black hands of mercy
We won't dream to let in
In the blanket of death
Made of powder and sin
Sleep it will come 
and sooner for some
The ones who lust shadows 
And places to run. 
People like us 
Only hang onto dreams 
And the slow hand of love
Never follows are schemes 
But people like us
Give the world a clean shake
And some of the zombies
Reject brains for our cake
So we bake it and bleed it
And let cowards run dry
Folding open our ovens
We discover the sky
The musics been baking
And so have the songs 
But your voice was too fragile
To right any wrongs
And so you chose just to exit
You chose just to leave 
The gift that you had
To heavy to grieve
To special to dance 
To hopeful to live
Too much that you took
And too much left to give.


---


2015-11-17 (2)


'Once your feet can't touch the ground 
It's hard to tell
How deep the deep end really is
I sit with you sometimes 
As you tell me how to live
We've never reached our limits
But we've reached so many peaks
That the warlord has been shattered
And now knows not what he seeks'


Is it death here or mercy?
Is it wrong or is it right?
For we are war machines 
shooting dreams thru hollow nights
Unconscious faze and dust
The nucleus is Sin
Where born with madness here
And it's still yet to begin. 
Frozen soldiers with dead minds are
Just radios for hate
Shooting down the innocent 
As if that could change their fate. 
As if death and fear bring heaven. 
As if greed was generous. 
As if cruelty was the breath of mercy
And the creators lips to kiss
Like rats with military weapons
Might become something more
Instead they scurry in the dark
Cowards in their core
Giving up their life to live. 
But choosing that for brothers 
And as bullets start to fly
Don't they see the eyes of others?
Have they nothing else to do
To give them purpose in their life?'
Or are they only turned on
by death machines twisting in the knife?
There is no heaven for you
And no virgins there to wait 
For you there's only darkness
And the horror that you make.


---


2015-11-19 (1)


Moments like these
I begin to look after us
After the fights and
the reasons we trust
Suspended in air
The universal state
Looking death in the eyes
Thru the pupils of fate
I once held you there
So young and so cold
Both of our families gone
To the rich they were sold
To the fields Babylon
To the dead end of dreams
To the plantations maze
And field whipping screams


Moments like these
I begin to look after us
The purple harpoons
And the Angels of dust
Broken sky ward and gone
We saw our children go
To the cities rich dawn
And the new worlds clean glow
From their ancestors ghost
They have travelled so wide
Bridging tunnels to space 
Finding Giants inside
To the gleam of the past 
They say Hail Mary's for
And even the pain
They open the door

But it's times like these 
I look after us
The grandkids are sleeping
And so is the rust
I've broken some cameras 
I've broken some laws 
But the vengeance of strangers
Had plenty of claws
So to my good fortune 
I can say it's well earned 
And the buried are sleeping
Where they are concerned.


---


2015-11-19 (2)


These movies are bad
Why do we watch them?
When spirits go spinning
Like bats from a cave
The torture of sunlight 
The murder of action
Our blood is the ocean 
Our dreams are the wave
The cats doom is broken
The beats new and old
The hidden have secrets
Or so I've been told
Lift off the rat race
The idiots won
This confusion of ages
Has only begun
Our nerves are all shattered 
By digital waves
The nuclear light show
To which we are slaves


---


2015-11-22


She can feel it descend
To the quicksand she bends
And her dreams 
Like an avalanche fall. 
To the hide outs of tramps
And the dark highway ramps
The addict will answer their call. 
Broken and hiding
The idiots riding
Thru cities with lights on the brain. 
The fumbling keys
And the scars on her knees
Both ring with the absence of pain. 
Her powdery dreams are
dead bolt rust screams and 
A face in the door of a ghost. 
Haunting the halls
As the emptiness calls
The lonely return to the lost.


---


2015-11-27


Knocking. A child keeps trying to come in. 
Knock knock we don't let him in. 
The chance to begin again. 
Knock knock there's that sound again. 
A stranger who comes to the door. 
Knock knock what's he coming for?
The victims who always need more. 
Knock knock head down on the floor. 
The blood begins to pour. 
Knock knock darkness pleading more. 
And for what do they all score?
Knock knock what are they knocking for?


---


2015-11-28 (1)


Live from Chicago. B b b b Somewhere down the skyway
Blanked by Jupiter
Shook by the arms that you love
In a nightmare ahead of you
The sun keeps coming
It's fire and paranoia
Blooming wilderness across alien planets
These Suns keep coming
Keep raining fire
And watching ballerinas become spiders
Under glass cages
Filled with wine and opium
Or else
Watching 
Good Hindus become weightless and coke fueled 
Beyond their nights of poverty and crime
As they return 
To the avenues of dust
Lost are our chances when we scandalized 
Vagabonds
With the sheer will and enthusiasm of our youth
And here are the days when we've become those vagabonds
Shrouded in the shadows of our truth. 
I wish I could be a lot like you
But the windows are foggy or to sane
And love is a camera with no flash or film 
And a picture that can never remain.


So bleed out for me
And I will for you
And together
We'll drift with the stars 
Aged and holy
Broken but true
Two lights shining beyond the bars.


---


2015-11-28 (2)


I'm trying to make it important again
That thing that lost it's magic
Night moves 
Big chances with Hail Mary passes into the abyss
What choice do any of us have
Silent and invisible
Or loud fools
Blooming forever into scavengers 
Of a love that remains aimless and doomed
But then again
There's a thing called piano
And there's an ocean to surf
Nothing is perfect 
Jelly fish and sharks
Bruce Hornsby and the rain (and I like Bruce Hornsby)
But nothing is perfect
In the end we have our guts
And a little bit of radio
Maybe a bacon omelet
Or a sun rise
When the surge in you is 
Becoming the surge in her
Or maybe a bouncing moon
Where moods don't matter
And everything is dark blue and dripping with blood
And the only call
Is the one no one hears
Beckoning no one home
Bringing free form jazz to the pop hit masses
In a scavenger hunt for surrender
Of course none of us find it
As we die in pits of confusion
Amongst our alienated families
Holding hands as we pass
With the clamminess of regret
John fogerty singing credence in our finger nails
Buddy holly knocking on the death of rock n roll
As he sings a song he never sang
About being the best that ever was and none was to ever be better
But helicopters fall
The nucleus splits
And the volcano dies
And knife goes in like hot syrup and twists
And you wake up confused again
About where you are
Or even why
And you look out the window at the perfect sky
Highlighted by fog and bad radio
A song about nothing
Sings to your head full of nothing
And the only solace is that soon
You'll be gone from this place
A dream of a dream fading
Barely smoke
In the lungs of a dying god's exhale. But there's still something more. The chance to be forgiven and beyond that the real truth that we all already are.


---


2015-11-28 (3)


I lost it 
I found it but 
I lost it too

Who knows who the hell
Bully Joel wrote uptown squirrel for?
Or why these fields in America are so vast 
And barren
Red barn fading
Cheese fields and holiday RV's waiting
Beers must be coming
As well as a pig to toast
Hillbillies listening to skynard 
As the sun goes down
Over their antique trash
Bullet hopes thru rusted trashcans
And machine gun rounds in a dead tree
From those nights that were days that were nights that were days that were nights again
When perverted shadows
Fell from the sky
And the secret password was "meth"


That's the night chuck said
Let's go turn that place over
And we found it
The bag of winning tickets. he new a place 
We could sell em for 50 cents on the dollar. 
Get rid of them quick 
And head out of town
But then in that darkness
I tripped over her
She had been dead for hours
Blood like black tar on a dark wood floor
No other evidence around. 
We burned the place down
The tears were streaming down my face
My hand was shaking holding his stolen 45
Chuck just kept screaming fuck at the top of his lungs
Hitting the steering wheel over and over 
We knew where he was
Or at least we thought we knew. 
Driving like bats with no cave
Lights off in the dark
Chucks maroon Impala hot rodded with no muffler
Sounding like a junkyard dog looking for blood
Trapped in a dumpster 
Full of old rusted paint cans 
And old car body parts 
The highway started raining blood 
The windshield wipers wiping red streaks 
Over both our eyes
His wife 
My sister
Battered there.

We walked into the place
The 45 still shaking in my hand 
Chuck saying something about cops and breaking noses
Jimmy saw us walking in. He's upstairs playing pool.


---


2015-12-06


I want to heal 
want to move to the light
I want to be real
And to continue the fight
I want to relax 
And call bliss a friend
blow thru my hardships
Like a soft springtime wind
But sometimes the demons
With hands cold and grey
Reach out thru the darkness
In your blind alleyway
And then you are cast out
Confused and forlorn
Believing there's no way
To be ever born
So you hide deeper still
And like powder you burn
Lighting the wick
You explode no concern
But soon you wake up
To a dawn that descends
A blue light of grace
The maroon sadness sends
And you wake up your soul
And it asks to come back
And you cry silver tears 
On a canvas that's black
And on there you write
A prayer to return
To the home of your heart
And away from the burn
Of the fires of hell
Of the fires loss
The mission now love
And no matter the cost


Going within
Surviving the drought
Forgiving the sin
Within and without
But still having fun
And still letting go
Still making mistakes
We're not perfect you know
have honor like thieves
Or friends in the night
But let's pledge allegiance
To our missions of light
The ones you can hear
When you're quiet
Alone
Broken open and hiding
From the cracks in your bones

Supplying the dealer
As you sharpen your knife
Cutting open your head
Are the words in your life
The things people said
To you when you're young
Forming yourself
From an idiot's tongue 
And now that voice speaks
As it comes from a grave
As you live in the daylight 
To the darkness you slave
empty and yawning
It's pulling you in
Temptations of shadows
That delude and pretend

Self medication
Bleed out the past
You can't get beyond it
but you can help it not last
Move out of hiding
Give in to the light
Help it to hold you
Help it to fight
Frame yourself winning
And by winning I mean
Get back to beginning
To believe you are seen
As a beacon of light
As a lover hope
As you untied the noose
And began jumping rope
And always remember
You are never alone
Thru the terrors of this age
Where none quite belong

So just light the candle
And then look away
As they murder the vandal
Of your souls hideaway
Wake up reborn
And begin then a new
The mission is love
And that love is (in) you.


---


2015-12-07


I am big bird
I am the grouch
Lift off and flying 
In a trashcan say ouch
I am a puppet 
Floating in space
The mask that I wear
Has become my face
I look thru the holes
And believe
I get by
Without anyone seeing
The look in my eye
But I entertain them
Thru dance and thru song
In melody singing
A home I belong
The stage is my fortress
Connected to strings
Watch him move forward
Open winging he sings
Beautiful sonnets 
Where goodwill belongs
In the captives of scandal
And the shame of their wrongs
I've been with you hiding
I've danced in your dreams
The wolves in your head
Are my paint splatter screams
Red gold and blue
Both purple and green
The insides of rats
And the outside of Kings 
Frozen in time
But begging for more
The puppet with legs and strings
Is a whore
From both sides of stage
Hands pull and we're gone
To the addicts of space
And the need to belong
Becoming as one
We freeze and burn out
The ecstasy chase
Becomes what we're all about
Bowling for dollars
The guitars crashing down
Pins and distortion
And the advent of sound
New rhythms falling 
From bliss and beyond
The melodies kiss
Holds our hearts all night long
Seeking yet finding
But losing again
The monkey of fortune
Hiding under my skin
Broken and fractured 
The strings are all frayed
I feel that I'm falling 
To the side of the stage
A puppet like people
Most one day just fall
And the crowds of the past 
Will still try to call
In the echoes of shadows
In the shows coming soon
From under kids beds
Somewhere over the moon
Where dreams are left hiding
And silence is king
But the song is still singing
And it's you who will sing


---


2015-12-08 (1)


I have a mind of winter Wallace
I have a heart that's gone
In the beating of a horse
Running sideways in the dawn
Of a battle made of muskets
And gun powder to choke
The throats of other ponies
In the heat of battle stroke
One head just blew open
His brains just splattered there
Against the trees of mercy
In the forest everywhere
His spirit now an infant
His heart beat a pure song
For the Angels of forgiveness
Who are forgotten in the dawn 
Let's sing one for our wilds 
Let's sing one for despair 
Let's sing one for the spirits 
I see lurking everywhere
Popping out of shadows
Their stories moving on
Beyond any memory
Of their time here long since gone
In idle desperation
With tenacity of thieves
They fall like things that die
From birds to autumn leaves
Giving up on strangers
Paranoid on speed
Packing stolen weapons
And the bullet eyes of need.


We come here to be given
We come here to be strong
Where told that loves the answer
But for that we're too far gone
So self hatred runs and shatters
It's fragments everywhere
Like hand grenades of families
Generations of despair 
These things they come with shelters
Protected from the dark
Satan's evil keepers
Drawing blood from ones who spark
The seeds of inspiration
They want them dead and gone
Bewildered lost from caring
In old rooms of Babylon.


---


2015-12-08 (2)


The Confidence Man 
Comes at you slow
He sees what you're eyes trace
From up high to down low
He helps you believe him
From the weight of your need
From holes deep inside
Bloom the flowers of greed
You want to believe
So by him you are led
To the victims of yearning
Who all scream in your head 
To the strangers broke down
Finding small sunlight 
From under the ground
Or the missions of night 
Follow the cards 
And give him your dough
The confidence man
Has a magical glow
Wide eyed you see him
And worship your luck
Spreading your legs
The wings that you tuck
With him you take flight
And unglued your past
Living life backwards
But living to fast
Until you are nothing
In the palm of his hand
The shadows are looming
In the mountains of sand
The confidence man
Buried you in
Still you could breath
But the darkness began
Taking over your world
When you saw you're alone
In the alien vortex 
Where nobodies home
Where nobodies real
And only dummies can dance
You would try to escape
But you can't take the chance
The confidence man
Stole all your keys
And left you there bleeding
Down on your knees
You begged him to stay
But he was long since a ghost
And now you are homeless
And he needs a host
So onto the next
Con he will go
The next natural victim
To him she will show
The weight of her need
Lost in her eyes
He'll see his way in
Thru his deviant skies
He'll create a creature
He never could be
But you'll need to believe him
Because you need to be free
And freedom he finds you
You're high on his drug
Sweeping his demons
Under all of your rugs
Becoming a stranger 
To family and friends
Your life now in danger
And so it descends
For the fast you are hopeless
For the slow you are doomed
Looking to trick you
He comes now well groomed
A bouquet of roses
A tattoo of Christ
A body perfection
Cocky but nice
You fall in love
And give him your soul
Let him surrender
You let him control
And your every move 
You confirm it with him
But he never will really
let you come in
A cartoon is dancing
A sun is an egg
You crawl like a spider
On his wooden leg
For he is a pirate 
Your jewelry he stole 
Along with your heart
Your laughter and soul

And after he leaves you
You cry tears of blood
Hallow and vacant
Your heart in the mud. 
The confidence man
Just goes to the next
Victim of need
And the greed of our sex
Our need to be loved
Our need to be found
Our need to be rescued 
From the storm coming down
But nothing can save you
Except from within
The turmoil changing
And changing again
They say god is the answer
Or spirit or love
Just try to surrender
To something above
Something above you
Something beyond
Humans or fortune
Or things that are gone
Or things that are going
Or things that are doomed
Every dead flower
Was once newly bloomed
Every dark sky
Once held the sun
You've got to find stillness
Yet long may you run.

And don't you worry 
The confidence man 
Will be soon to pay
The people he's broken
Will stand in his way
Zombies and shadows
Freaks and old ghosts
Burning in hell
His soul long since lost
The confidence man
Really not real
The love you were sharing
He never could feel.

So just keep it moving
Heal up and move on
And police all your greed
And need to belong
Don't let another
Come in and confuse
The things that you want
For the life that you choose.


---


2015-12-08 (3)


There are just two sides 
The right and the left
The one eye of greed
And the burden of theft
It's heads in the clouds 
It's will upside down
The both of them spinning
From drugs they have found
One tripping acid
One tripping greed
Focused and hungry
From the fortress of need
The other less angry
But hypocrites still
Soiled by mercy
They can never fulfill
Undone in glory
That was only pretend
The vagabond spirit
From the rich they descend
But still they are willing 
To give empathy
To the burden of others
Much less they are free
So for this only reason
And this reason alone
They're simply less evil
And Christ like it's shown
In the writing of scripture
As passed on thru time
Let's give out more love
Lets love let us find.



I've been a preacher
I've been a ghost
Burnt out in China
Forgotten and lost
Passed the Great Wall
To deserts beyond
The reaches of others
Who have been holding on
Left out and fragile
Good will breaking down
The patrons of sunshine
Who have given this town
It's buildings and stations
It's pubs and it's graves
From times before Jesus
When the new kings were slaves
And heads were all rolling
Down black marble stairs
Blood just like paintings 
Popped red everywhere 
With faces appearing 
Like modern art
Hung
In the walls of the MOMA
Dakooning's woman
Hookers of mercy
Fucked sideways til dawn
In the epics of sunrise
And cum dripping down
As lovers go sleeping
Beyond just pretend
That love has no meaning
And will have no real end

There are only two sides
The left and the right
One breaking down
At the concept of fight
Of course we're unequal
But that's just pretend
If your will is ungodly
And you are a real man
But the other sides passive
yet right still here
We can't let the fallen
Be eaten by fear
And still remain civil
With humanities pride
Looking into each other
Without having to hide
For each of us broken
Can be unbroken still
With forgiveness
And charity
As Christ shared his will
So let's turn both sides
Into one side called love
From the nuclear bomb
To the white peaceful dove
And stop every murder
Whatever the cost
For we'll never return
When humanities lost


---


2015-12-09


Disclaimer. I am not in this poem advocating or even wishing for the actual death of Trump but of his ideas and what he currently stands for. In writing tho sometimes you need to see blood to really bring forth any weight to the emotion. See Shakespeare for example. So yes here I cut off his head but actually wish the man a great and peaceful life. Just very far away from me.


Trump is a bitch
Trump is a con
Love to see him ripped up
Or shot dead in Saigon
should be cut like a pig
one ear to the next
And we should watch him bleed out
All the hatred he's vexed
Him and his people
Racists of clout 
America should be choking
Cunts like this out.


America in trouble
From within and without
Our freedom is tested 
In the days of the drought
The days of free weapons
And mass murder glare
It's hard to say Jesus
Or God could still care.

Trump is a rat
But we are his hole
America now rotting
From its absence of soul
Where lunatics thrive
And idiots rule
and prayers for the dying 
Come from every fool
America now shattered 
of stolen greed
Falling over survivors
Breathing heavy from need
starved come with numbers
They won't knock on your door
They'll use battle axes
And the legs of their whore

America is shooting 
Itself in the head 
Flogging it's past
On the merciful dead
Slave ships of ghosts
from lands long since gone
Since before we had moons
Or a place to belong
soon we will go
Back to times like these
When nuclear clouds
Shake us all to our knees
as our faces glow
And melt in the dirt
We'll know fear has won
In the land of the hurt.


---


2015-12-10 (1)


tolen goods and us


Slipping across witchy submarines
The kind that Pop like thought bubbles and are gone
"I had a dream you were sick and lonely"


The sky stays like this 
Even when we don't take pictures of it
And what of it can ever be captured?

Some distant glance is all we get
(All we ever get)
We are told we are of the sky and stars 
But these myths don't puzzle me 
Licking the token wounds the summer gave you see?

Hercules, Systems of chance 
Who knew how we became
Broken open coward eggs
Separated for the neon
Strippers dancing legs 
Looking good in the misery dawn
Helpless and paranoid 
Yet enjoying an elevated status created by some con you've played on your peers,
As they sang you a song
Thru the suds of their cheers!

I want the ugliest thing
I long for the darkest hour
Why else then do I obsess
On those times when life 
Will devour me like a poison pill?
Instead of these times
When the Angels do everything they say they will?
When everything is perfect
Or at least sparkling with these waves 
Of stolen goods and us. 
Riding on a bus to nowhere
Or floating on stranger's beds and lust.


---


2015-12-10 (2)


I'm all the contradictions 
Every single one 
A peace sign that's a weapon
Or a backwards pointing gun
A survivor who's a suicide
A dreamer who can't dance
Or a gambler too afraid
To take any kind of chance
A tall man who's so small
He falls thru every drain
In the euphoria of bliss
Feeling every point of pain
Satisfied but hungry
I eat until I'm fat
But then starving I go run and hide
With all the skinny rats
Living in clean houses
And treated just like kings
Until the tender kitten
Comes swooping in with fangs
But once I'm chewed and swallowed 
I'm reborn here again
This time, I'm ink that's blood,
In chosen writer's pens. 
A list of shapes and numbers
the residue of chance
To grasp at some new meaning
Or boils we can lance
To clear out old infection
To let the healing in
I remember how I lost it
The one time I did win
Hollow but not empty
Old and young and heart
Nothing here has meaning
So everything is art. 
I paint a picture of you
It's an astronaut in space
But when I look inside your helmet
You haven't got a face
just two eyes there floating
And a mouth that's upside down
Which speaks in backwards rhymes
All these words you throw around 
Like give each other mercy
Set each other free
Hold onto the love
You've always been and will always be. 
You can turn away
From fear or things you chase
Giving up the things that fade 
And holding out for grace.


But I'm all the contradictions
So I'd rather run and hide
Or be found by some strange light 
That's coming from inside
For one day we must make our exit
And where will we return?
To the clouds of bliss and candy
Or the place where sinners burn?
Or maybe there's an elevator
Going back and forth
A little bit of heaven 
heading south from way up north
Back into the fires 
You have a little fun
Until you're now held hostage
By a moron with a gun
Pointing squarely at you
Looking in the mirror
You realize all at once
It was just a case of fear
You pull the lonely trigger
popping flags saying BANG!
Your nightmare was a child's toy
But your love was acid rain.


---


2015-12-11


People are fragile
Father and young
Blown out on history
Of the gravity's sun
All of us lifted
From here or from Mars
Drinking and gifted
At the velvet rope bars
Meaningless eyes ring
On dance colored beats
The movement of sex
Flocking close incomplete
Strung out from voodoo
And the rooms of your chance
Both messy as hell
As they glow with romance
People are fragile
On high wire beams
Fronting their hostage
To the ransom of dreams
Separate but equal
As the stories all go
But the rooms you get in
Are the people you know
And if you've been chosen
Or if you've been brave
Or the Scandalous ones 
Who are happy to slave
For the riches of time
That are certain to fall
Plagiarizing itself 
on the toilet house wall
Calling those numbers and
Breaking your brain
Watching with measure 
As you go there insane
To the haunted house mansion
Up over the hill
Passed your decision
or the choice of your will
Where you give up your freedom
And let consciousness ride
To the marriage of God 
or a high level bride
The universe breaking
Your vision expands
Things coming now
Not one mind understands
You go into nothing
And nothing again
Until you are nothing
But the nothing within
And in nonexistence
Eternities eyes
Blow into fractals
As if rainbows were flies
Buzzing before you
On divinities' shit
Feeding your soul 
On a cosmic big tit
White light euphoric
Big dick hyper space
Who knew God was kink
Into leather and lace?
Floating in love
You're broken but free
Decide what you want
Whoever you want to be.


---


2015-12-12


Someone said be careful with your words
But birds come in herds flying over with turds
So the nerds who observe the pain they deserve say be careful you don't

just blow into ash
A nostril from space
Does you up in a dash
And what high are you?
When you fuck with his brain
Filling heads up with smoke
From your one engine plane
The meaningless spike
Or the crash coming down
From the heads that are tails
And the freaks all around
Some are asleep
Some might be dead
I seem to remember
some apples and lead
The old william tell 
the junkie bill B
Who shot his poor wife
Holding fruit from a tree
But it was a mistake
So the court case maintains
That the core of the apple
Was the misuse of brains
And from there the words flowed
Like a moronic
Spark!
Children necks snapping
Poetic and dark
The junkie and queer 
Liberated us all
To the dark side of love
And over some hidden wall. 
And to the rest of the beats
He was plainly their dad
But the last to confess
That the whole thing was sad.


Some one said be careful with you words
To them I say

Words are just plates 
Spinning carnival loons
For tricks done with cards
Or the dust of cocoons
The shadows all lust
Changing shapes with the light
Of the alien ship
Landing now from its flight
A crew of new beings
Grey and big eyed
Black eyes like saucers
Giving nothing they hide
one by one they all jump!
Inside your ear
And when they're gone 
are you sure they were here?
But then these new voices
Begin chatting up high
The words just fall out 
Like tears from your eye

And you have to keep going
To have any chance
Saying things 
That are dictated
When the stars shake and dance
Inspired or illness?
Genius or case?
Of a mind breaking down
Behind an unchanging face.

Or do dangerous words come 
from someplace beyond? 
From the hopeless of mercy
To the needs of the strong?
For the kids who are shattered
And moms frightened there?
The words giving back
What was already here. 
A place of relating
the highs and the lows
To take out the hateful. 
Ok, break all their toes!
But not on their bodies,
On their ideas which run,
Old fear and hatred
Straight back into the sun

---


2015-12-16


Each mans life
A bridge undone
Going nowhere
Into the sun
Hotels in nothing 
Rooms of clouds
Your body soon is
Lost in shrouds
First of silk
Then of dirt
Then the kingdom
Made of hurt
To build redemption
Become a ghost
A thousand days
And nights to roast
Burn the sins
And flesh away
forgotten times
You held decay
Like a baby
In your arm
The self you love
the self you harm
Shoestrings vibrate
The angels sing
Another you
Is dangling 
From the rafters
Of your cell
A rope read exit
These walls of hell
But dreams are made
Of pain and joy
Neither real
Neither ploy
Tricks the mind
To cut your skin
To take your eyes
Away within
Somewhere secrets
Are divulged 
Floating in
Old broken worlds


For each man's life
A bridge to build 
It stops mid air
And unfulfilled 
For how could any
Real eyes see
The holiness surrounding thee
The lives you touched
And then were lost
The payment tears
An ocean's cost 
Fragment skull face
Memory
The cracking bones
You're born to free
But to this life
You are a slave 
Survival sparks
The trips you've made
From every coast
To every star
When you were normal
How bizarre ?

For every man
A bridge in fog
Shattered endings
Howling dogs 
Driving thru this 
Mystic trance
Mistaking pleasure
For romance
Situated 
You come and go
To forget 
The ones you know
But love wins battles
In hearts that die
Like sun that breaks
The cloudy sky

Each man's bridge
Ends where? unknown. 
Going back 
Nobodies home
Switchblade tongues
Are silenced here
As are the woes
Of yesteryear 
But where the bridge ends
cars fall off
As trumpet calls
Start playing soft
All your loves
Go sinking in
The ocean of your life 
Again
Phantoms gone to history
This bridge
A bridge to mystery.


---


2015-12-21


Can you unlock 
my spirit beast?
Somewhere frozen 
in the east
Somewhere broke 
before the call
from the slumber 
inside us all. 
I've been hated 
and betrayed
Left for dead
or worse for trade,
But in the light
I heard the call
From the slumber 
inside us all. 
Inside me
is you and them. 
All at war
or love again,
Somewhere down 
the Milky Way
Where gold hearts fly
And young hearts pray. 
My spirit beats
a locked up cage. 
The lion's roar 
A thing of rage. 
Unspoken laws 
between us all,
What in man's heart 
still yearns to fall?
But I was there 
and heard you call
From the slumber
inside us all. 
So take this key
It's old in green
It's gold is fake
like Halloween. 
The beast is real 
I hear it mull
The tired bones 
inside us all. 
God's confusion
He never knew. 
That we'd want life
And death to screw. 
And be immortal 
So we could ride
The things that keep
Our love alive. 
Take this key
And swallow it. 
I'll stay locked up
Till you admit
That we're the same
Each one will fall. 
Into old slumber 
Young and all. 
We dream of love 
Yet fear will crawl
Into the slumber 
A beast and claw. 
Let's wake up! 
and have a ball,
Until this slumber
Betrays our wall. 
Let's destroy 
the things that crawl
To make our slumber
A needless fall. 
I love you 
One and all
The slumber waits
To hear us call. 
Don't let your voice
Our freedom dull
There's only one, 
Each one is all.


---


2015-12-23



In the silence of the dawn 
I saw
you fall
from grace
Long before this silent song
Fell 
from 
outer space
The singer she was dead
The drummer
a grey ghost
The bassist was a loon
Bewildered 
by the host
The host came to us all
First each alone
then all as one
The song was written then
Before the music
had 
begun. 
Silence crept away
Then man's imperfection led
The hungry
to the living
And the living 
to the 
dead
I been with you before
In skull nights locked in dust
The mission plagerized 
this demon 
known as 
lust
We walked a thousand streets
I'm sure 
there
are many more
Who open up like rivers
Or the legs 
of every 
whore
Before us there is mercy
Before us there is love
The windfall 
sings it's shelter 
To the
shattering 
above
Hope is just for strangers 
You pass them 
on the street
And looking at you sideways
The freaky 
fingers
meet. 
Pick pockets on the subway
From here to Babylon
The only 
foreign country
Is the home 
where you 
belong.


---


2015-12-23 (2)


Lines of wisdom
Acts of rage
Holding fast
The things that age
I see you 
And turn the page
Gifts like this
Get thru the cage
Hello freedom
Hello dawn 
This goodwill keeps us
Moving on
From the Sufi 
and the saint
Held in godlike
body paint
Skin of angel
Skin of dream
Forgotten thoughts
Lost wandering 
You think you're dead
But you get born
Everyday
You're in the storm.

Lines of wisdom
In my head
Been here before
Under my bed
Always hiding
Always made
Aging just like
Colors fade.

Sandal broken
Sandalwood 
India choking 
Hollywood. 
Forgotten screen shots
Of long dead saints
God the painter
On them he paints
And out flows wisdom
From above
The tidal of
These waves and doves
Serpents prying 
Their way back in
The darkness
Clawing out within
Surging forward
And in the dirt
Your teeth reach out
To eat the hurt.

But you stay hungry
With gifts to pay
Your way thru borders
On holiday
Treasure captured
Held dear and lost
The things that haven't 
Got a cost
Not of money
Not of time
Somewhere further
Beyond the mind
Holy weapons
Or holy love
It never changes 
The rapture's glove
Hand's creation
Hand of dawn
Hand of knowing
Where we belong

And please now guide us
Before we fall
The broken bodies
On the wall
Both side waging
Both sides lost
Scattered dew drops
Of sunlit frost.

That is how
I think of you
The chance we had
But never knew
And still we're fractured 
Still we're frayed
All out hidden
games we've played. 
Still we're fractured 
Still we're frayed
Blame it on 
Mistakes we've made. 
Still we're fractured 
Still we're frayed
Shake the hand
But seek the blade. 
Still we're fractured 
Still we're frayed 
The love gets thru
In light well paid.


---


2015-12-29


Pushkar Bangla Ghat

We never met dr alone
We never got set in (any )stone
We never tried to see what was shown (there)
But in the end got
All Our minds blown 
Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Pushkar
Bangla ghat

In the holy land
We saw only dead
we went to the water
And it's touching our head
From the hand 
Of a hindu priest
From starvation
We sat at the feast 
Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Om infinite hands
cleansed our souls 
By the lake 
Of the ones who came whole
To give his gift of grace 
To them all
The deaf and blind 
Who can't hear his call

Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Pushkar
Bangla ghat

Pushkar
Bangla ghat


---